1. Baby's Gone Shopping (Denial)
"She should be here with me." - Jimmy Buffett
2. The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful (Anger)
"I wish you were beautiful." - Jimmy Buffett
3. Trying to Reason with Hurricane Season (Bargaining)
" I made up this song." - Jimmy Buffett
4. Stranded On a Sandbar (Depression)
"I feel like I'm stranded on a sandbar." -Jimmy Buffett
5. Why Don't We Get Drunk (Acceptance)
"I just bought a waterbed." -Jimmy Buffett
Check out the whole playlist below with two bonus tracks! Enjoy.
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After living away from home for eight years, I never thought I would have to move back in with my parents. I was wrong. I thought home would be the complete opposite of the fast-paced environment of the city. I was wrong again. It is different, but with a few adjustments I was able to navigate through the thrilling suburban jungle. Here are six tips to help you make the most of your born again suburban life. Take a Stroll Down Memory LaneWhen I first moved back in with my parents, the first thing I did was drive through the neighborhood. It is a good way to remember all the good times. There was that great bonfire at Mike’s house - a three bedroom, two bath ranch, painted white. I saw an R-rated movie for the first time at Devin’s house - a three bedroom, two bath ranch, painted white. The time I tried Jagermeister for the first time was at Amy’s place - a three bedroom, two bath ranch, painted white. No, it was beige. Make Your Old Room Your NEW RoomWhen I finally made it home I walked up to my room. I was surprised by my eclectic 90’s taste as a kid. I found in order to redefine myself that I had to put away the past. I threw out my Power Rangers throw blanket and replaced it with a striped grey throw from Target. I took down The Mighty Ducks poster and put up a poster from Just Friends - or maybe it was She’s Out of My League. Updating all the typical kids stuff you left behind really enhances your unique sensibility. Make it you! Make it something that says Fyresdal from Ikea is the daybed for your new room. Expand Your TasteIt’s easy to get caught up in the plethora of options that is suburban dining. You’ve been there before: Olive Garden, The Cheesecake Factory, Texas Roadhouse, TGI Friday’s, Applebee’s, Smokey Bones, Denny’s. There's so much variety, but eating out all the time can really put a dent in your wallet. Make sure to go to the grocery store and cook every so often! Pro-Tip: Check with your dad before you go to discuss which way is faster. Get Engrossed in the DramaSheldon and Bernadette broke up on The Big Bang Theory. Madame Secretary chewed out her kid’s principal. Mike and Molly got cancelled! Spoiler alerts! There is a lot happening on network TV, so take some time every night and get caught up on what everyone (Mom and Dad) is talking about! Have an Enlightened ConversationSometimes sitting and watching TV silences the best dialogue: conversation with your parents. I’m sure over the years of college and living in the real world, you probably have plenty of insightful knowledge to share with your family. Hold your horses! It’s not the best place to start. One topic that is sure to get everyone talking is the weather! Even if you are moving back to Arizona, one thing remains true: the weather is always interesting and worth talking about in the suburbs. Make Sure You Have the Right HouseThe trouble with talking about something other than the weather is that it can create controversy. I reminded my parents I have a degree in Psychology, but they insisted it was Sociology. They even pointed to my diploma on the wall. As I looked over it, I realized it wasn’t even my diploma! It was Mike’s! I was in the wrong house! There’s nothing more embarrassing than walking into the wrong childhood home. Sorry Mike, I'm going to take Fyresdal, but I’ll buy you a new Power Rangers blanket!
To read with audio, click play below!
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. It was dark on the Earth so God created light and separated it from darkness. Night and day. January 1, 2016. In the first few days, God created a lot of things. He was a busy guy, or girl. It’s 2016, after all. He created the world. Plants, animals, vegetation, the Washington Monument, The Eiffel Tower, The Pyramids, some volcanoes, and Tiny Desk Concerts. There was still a lot to be done though; God still needed to invent electricity and the internet. That was on like day 5 or so. Then on day 6 God invented history books to make up all the things that had happened before 2016.
After he did that, God created Adam and Eve and he set them up in an Olive Garden. He told them not to eat the fruit. It’s fake! He specifically said it was fake. But they we’re tricked by their waiter Jeremy. It turns out that Jeremy was only this guy’s middle name and in reality his first name was The DEVIL!!! So Adam and Eve tried to eat the fruit, but it was fake so they couldn’t digest it all the way. Gross. Jeremy called his manager, who happened to also be God and said they are stealing our fake fruit! God said, “I told you not to eat the fruit! It’s fake! You are stealers! Get out of here.” Adam and Eve were like, but he told us to, and they pointed to Jeremy. God said, “Jeremy is this true?” And Jeremy went, “It’s true and my first name isn’t Jeremy, it’s the DEVILL!!!” “Of course your name is the Devil; you wrote it on your application. Anyway, you’re kicked out too!” declared God. So Adam, Eve, and Jeremy (actually The DEVIL!!!) got kicked out of the olive garden. God was bummed this happened because he got so wrapped up in his restaurant business that he forgot to finish creating the world! There wasn’t a lot left to do, just small details like invent Facebook and other people. So since he’s God, he froze time for a second and finished making that stuff. So when Adam and Eve walked out of Olive Garden they had friends. The TV show. Jeremy ran away, because he’s the DEVIL!!! and Adam and Eve were kind of pissed at him, because they got kicked out before they could eat dinner. So now they had to eat at Spaghetti Warehouse, an inferior Italian chain restaurant. After Adam and Eve ate dinner, they had to get jobs because they sinned against God. And that’s how the earth was made. Brewing a delicious cup of coffee can be a difficult challenge, especially when it comes to single-cup brew systems. By following this easy, step-by-step guide, you will be brewing the best cups of Keurig coffee in no time! 1. Select a K Cup® from your preferred coffee brand. 2. Insert K Cup® into Keurig. 3. Select desired brew size. 4. Press the "Keurig 2.0" button. 5. Let it brew! 6. Discard K Cup® in trash. 7. Take a moment to reflect on your contribution to the 9 billion K Cups® that are going to end up in a landfill this year for the convenience of a single-brew cup of coffee. 8. Enjoy!
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