Yesterday the Senate voted down a proposal to bar gun sales to terrorism suspects. Many Americans expressed disappointed with the decision, and rightfully so. I am one of them. There continues to be an inconsistency in how we approach terrorism in this country. I’m just an average dude, but I do have a pretty clear understanding on what the answer is. We need to repeal government restrictions on flying to be more consistent in the war on terror. 1. Create a New Constitutional AmendmentGuns were invented years ago. They were in the public conscious in 1791 when the Bill of Rights was ratified. This is not true for airplanes. Our founding fathers didn’t anticipate the need for each and every American citizen to have the right to fly. We need to create an amendment that protects our flying rights. By making it harder for terrorists to fly, we’ve made it very confusing for average law-abiding citizens. Whether there are laws or not, terrorist will always find a way to fly. There is no need to make flying a hassle for citizens that follow the law. 2. Allow Liquids of All Sizes Through Security Now that it’s my constitutional right to fly in an airplane, it is time to get rid of all these sanctions that make it so hard to fly. I don’t want to buy special 3.4 ounce contact solution just for an airplane ride. I want my normal LARGE bottle of contact solution. This is America, land of the big. If we can’t bring our Big Gulps through airport security then I don’t want to live here. 3. Let Law-Abiding U.S. Citizens Keep Their Shoes OnListen, if the classic American film ‘Home Alone’ starring Macaulay Culkin happened today, it would end with the McCallister’s waiting in line at a TSA checkpoint - never making their flight. End of movie. Is this the world we want to live in, where a classic American movie ends after 20 minutes? I don't think so. Let me keep my shoes on. It’s my goddamn American right to keep my foot fungus to myself. 4. Re-privatize the TSA There’s nothing less American than the federal government taking over jobs a private company can do. The TSA replaced hard working, American businesses in order to make it more difficult for law-abiding citizens, like myself, to fly. I don’t want The Government looking at my exposed body through an x-ray machine. But I would be more than happy if Joe, from Airport Security Solutions, took a peak. 5. Reopen Cockpits to the Public I remember as a kid being able to look inside the cockpit of an airplane and meet the pilots. After meeting the guys in charge of my life for the next few hours, I felt way more comfortable. Pilots are people too. But now that they sit behind a locked door, we only get to hear their muffled voices over a loudspeaker. It could be a robot for all I know! And a robot isn’t going to wish me Merry Christmas like a true American pilot. 6. Tear Up the No-Fly ListHow is it that someone can be on a no-fly list and still be able to purchase and own guns? It looks like a double standard to me. If a suspected terrorist can own a gun, he sure as hell can take a vacation. Repeal the no-fly list and help get a suspected terrorist on the next flight to Cabo.
1 Comment
After living away from home for eight years, I never thought I would have to move back in with my parents. I was wrong. I thought home would be the complete opposite of the fast-paced environment of the city. I was wrong again. It is different, but with a few adjustments I was able to navigate through the thrilling suburban jungle. Here are six tips to help you make the most of your born again suburban life. Take a Stroll Down Memory LaneWhen I first moved back in with my parents, the first thing I did was drive through the neighborhood. It is a good way to remember all the good times. There was that great bonfire at Mike’s house - a three bedroom, two bath ranch, painted white. I saw an R-rated movie for the first time at Devin’s house - a three bedroom, two bath ranch, painted white. The time I tried Jagermeister for the first time was at Amy’s place - a three bedroom, two bath ranch, painted white. No, it was beige. Make Your Old Room Your NEW RoomWhen I finally made it home I walked up to my room. I was surprised by my eclectic 90’s taste as a kid. I found in order to redefine myself that I had to put away the past. I threw out my Power Rangers throw blanket and replaced it with a striped grey throw from Target. I took down The Mighty Ducks poster and put up a poster from Just Friends - or maybe it was She’s Out of My League. Updating all the typical kids stuff you left behind really enhances your unique sensibility. Make it you! Make it something that says Fyresdal from Ikea is the daybed for your new room. Expand Your TasteIt’s easy to get caught up in the plethora of options that is suburban dining. You’ve been there before: Olive Garden, The Cheesecake Factory, Texas Roadhouse, TGI Friday’s, Applebee’s, Smokey Bones, Denny’s. There's so much variety, but eating out all the time can really put a dent in your wallet. Make sure to go to the grocery store and cook every so often! Pro-Tip: Check with your dad before you go to discuss which way is faster. Get Engrossed in the DramaSheldon and Bernadette broke up on The Big Bang Theory. Madame Secretary chewed out her kid’s principal. Mike and Molly got cancelled! Spoiler alerts! There is a lot happening on network TV, so take some time every night and get caught up on what everyone (Mom and Dad) is talking about! Have an Enlightened ConversationSometimes sitting and watching TV silences the best dialogue: conversation with your parents. I’m sure over the years of college and living in the real world, you probably have plenty of insightful knowledge to share with your family. Hold your horses! It’s not the best place to start. One topic that is sure to get everyone talking is the weather! Even if you are moving back to Arizona, one thing remains true: the weather is always interesting and worth talking about in the suburbs. Make Sure You Have the Right HouseThe trouble with talking about something other than the weather is that it can create controversy. I reminded my parents I have a degree in Psychology, but they insisted it was Sociology. They even pointed to my diploma on the wall. As I looked over it, I realized it wasn’t even my diploma! It was Mike’s! I was in the wrong house! There’s nothing more embarrassing than walking into the wrong childhood home. Sorry Mike, I'm going to take Fyresdal, but I’ll buy you a new Power Rangers blanket!
|